Tag Archives: relationships

A Reminder

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January 14th, my aunt had to Bayflighted to the hospital where her transplant team is located because her O2 level was not able to be sustained in a safe range.  As I shared the news with the many who have been praying, one of my friends shared the following video with me: http://faithtap.com/402/how-great-thou-art/#t/402/.

Looking over the past year and my precious aunt there have been many low points, but listening to this video reminded me of how much God has done for us.

God brought together a family who put aside things that in the long run didn’t matter so that we could be there to do whatever was necessary.

God gave her the strength to attend the dedication of my cousin’s baby girl.

God guided the surgeon’s hand to safely insert the trachea tube.

God has provided many safe trips to all of us as we travel back and forth.

God is great all the time and in complete control.

Thank you God for all you have done: blessing my life with a wonderful Godly aunt, giving me many wonderful memories of the time we have spent together, for her unconditional love and support, and for each and every day you give us.

God, How Great Thou Art!

PS My aunt loves her country music!

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World Turned Upside Down

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One year ago at this time I was setting up camp with my family in the ICU waiting room of the Florida Hospital in Zephyrhills filled with two conflicting emotions-fear and joy.  The morning of January 9, 2013 my cousin and his wife gave birth to their first born…a baby girl named Ruth.  So happy for them and thrilled for my family to have a new little bundle to love and spoil.  I never imagined a few short hours later by lunchtime my world would be turned upside down and has yet to be righted.

While teaching I received a text that my aunt was at the hospital with pneumonia.  I told my mom, who at the time worked with me, so we could rearrange our schedules and she could go up after school.  Just 15 minutes later, I received another text that stated that they were putting my aunt on life support. I was in told shock.  My mind filled with so many thoughts…tell my mom, make sure she gets to Zephyrhills safely, get my daughter taken care of so I could go up after school, get a hold of my aunt who was in a meeting, and this CAN’T be happening…I NEED my aunt.

Days passed as she was in a coma with her lungs bleeding and filling with fluids.  I would work and go up and sit in her room holding her, talking to her and trying to be so strong. A few times we got some positive news but it quickly would vanish as more despairing news would come.

Then came the time I had to let my little  6-year-old girl know her Nana was “really sick” and may be going to live with God.  This was not a new concept to her as she dealt with the death of her Papa Richard, the man who took care of her since she was a year old, when she was in kindergarten.  She of course wanted to see her Nana.  I was unsure…do I take her to see Nana filled with tubes and wires…do I not so she can remember Nana camping, playing, swimming, loving her, etc.

Finally progress was made and the ventilator was able to be removed, she was moved to rehab, and even made it home.  She even was well enough to attend the baby dedication of Ruth.

Cile and Ruth

Although so thrilled that she was able to be there, a sense of peace never came to me that her illness was resolved and she would continue to improve until she was back to where she was previously.  I have never really been a glass half full girl.

My greatest fears came true this past summer when we received the news that there was no cure for what had happened for her lungs and her only chance for a bilateral lung transplant.

My heart broke. Yes her title maybe aunt, but to me she is another mother.  I was so blessed that while growing up she and her family lived only 15 minutes from us.  Our families did EVERYTHING together.  God had blessed her with a son but not a daughter so I got to fill that spot.  In fact back then and even now if we are together other often think we are mother and daughter because even though she came into my family by marriage we look sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much alike.

And then it broke again as I talked with my little girl letting her know that Nana needed a new pair of lungs but I know I had to…I believe in being honest.

As of now we are still waiting for a set a lungs, we have had one close chance…but that is for another post.

As a family we have been there to support each other and we all have are ups and downs as we travel this path…but one thing we all know for sure it is in God’s hand and we can rest in whatever he does as his perfect will.

I love you my precious aunt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Perspective

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WormI took this picture a few weekends ago and although it seems strange it made me think of perspective. Some may look at the picture and think, WOW! Look at those tiny ants all working together.  While another may think, How horrible that while one is injured others take advantage. How vastly different those perspectives are.

This week while helping my daughter memorize her verse for Sunday School, Romans 12:18, If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.

I promise, I think I can get all these thoughts to tie together, bare with me.

I have had a job since I was 15 years old. In all my years working, I have NEVER had a work year as horrible as last year.

There were lots of things that contributed to it be so bad.  And although I shared some of those things with those who I considered to be friends at work, I told no one everything that was taking place due to not being able to wrap my head around some of the things that were happening. Yes, I am mature enough to realize that no matter what was going on I am still responsible for my actions. Unfortunately I did allow it to alter some of my behaviors and I made some wrong choices with my friends. With the beginning of summer and putting some distance I saw the mistakes I made and apologized to what I considered to be 4 very, dear friends. I apologized for the things I knew I had done wrong and for anything that I was unaware that I had done.  I asked for their forgiveness and said if they wanted to talk they knew where to find me.  I thanked them for the friendship they had give and wished them and their families all the best.  From 3 of the 4 I get absolute silence and these are people that I was friends with for 11 years, 6 years and 5 years. From the 4 I get the occasional message usually after I have contacted them and attempt to be friendly but in a much different manner than we ever had. I am smart enough to know that their perspective of the situation maybe different (see I told you the crazy thoughts would all tie in).

The bottom line for me I guess is this question, “Do I continue to try and work on the friendships by sending text like: Hope things are going well.  Thinking of you.  Happy Holidays, etc.? Or do I let go, be thankful for the time we had and move on? And if I move on and am later contacted do I rekindle the friendship or just be cordial and continue about living. What are your thoughts/advice?

Dance…While you can

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One of the things those of you that have been following me know is that I have been trying to work on living the moment to the fullest.  This is not something that comes easy to me as, I am a very detailed scheduler and often miss out on things because it isn’t on the agenda.

While out grocery shopping the other day, this book caught my eye. I took it off the shelf opened the front cover and read the first poem.

First I was dying to finish high school and start college.

 And then I was dying to finish college and start working.

 And then I was dying to marry and have children.

 And then I was dying for my children to grow old enough so I could go back to my career.

 And then I was dying to retire.

 And now I am dying…

and suddenly realize that I forgot to live.

Author Unknown

So I splurged on myself and spent $13 on myself because this book combined something I needed and something I loved.

When I was a little girl one of my greatest desires was to be a ballerina, unfortunately when I was 3 years old I suffered a significant injury to my left leg and according to the doctor was not allowed to dance.  That is part of the reason I enjoy watching my daughter dance.

Daily Progress 2o minutes at a rate of 4mph.

Parent’s Day

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Today is Parent’s Day according to my Chick Fil A calendar.  When I saw that, I began to wonder what is Parent’s Day.  So to trusty google I went (How did we live before the Internet?) to find out what Parent’s Day is all about.  Here is what I found:

Many Americans are unaware that our nation has a new day of commemoration called Parents’ Day. This is good news for America’s parents and families.

In 1994 President Bill Clinton signed into law the resolution unanimously adopted by the U. S. Congress establishing the fourth Sunday of every July as Parents’ Day, a perennial day of commemoration similar to Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. According to the Congressional Resolution, Parents’ Day is established for “recognizing, uplifting, and supporting the role of parents in the rearing of children.”

The establishment of Parents’ Day was the result of a bipartisan, multiracial and interfaith coalition of religious, civic and elected leaders who recognized the need to promote responsible parenting in our society and to uplift ideal parental role models, especially for our nation’s children.

Since the creation of this annual day of commemoration, local faith communities, elected officials and activists throughout the nation have creatively launched many activities around the theme of Parents’ Day designed to celebrate and strengthen the traditional, two-parent family.

The National Parents’ Day Council does not envision Parents’ Day to be yet “another” day to honor parents, but rather a day when parents honor their children and the God-centered family ideal by rededicating themselves to manifest the highest standard of unconditional true love.

Courtesy of:   http://www.parentsday.com/#about

 I have been doing quite a bit of reflecting on my parenting.  There are many things I do well according to those who have seen me interact with my child.  But there are also things that I need to improve.  The first priority for me to work on in my life to be better in my child’s life is the ability to relax and have fun.  I have always struggle with this and desired to be the best of everyone.  Not focusing on my own personal best but the best of everyone in the world.  I have begun to see this in my child’s life and realize that not only am I modeling it for but I am demanding it from her without meaning to do it.  So my first thing to work on is to is about focusing on your personal best and having fun not competing about everything.  Let’s see how this goes.
As far as my journey to a half marathon….today I walked 3 miles.

Granny

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Today at 1pm, Granny, the princess’ 96 year old great-grandmother, left her earthly home. What a wonderful woman she was and she had a love for quilting. Not only will her memory live on in the 2 quilts I have from her, but the princess was also privileged to be given her own quilt when she was 2.  Not looking forward to having to tell the princess when just 4 months ago her Papa Richard passed away.

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Go Rest High On That Mountain 
Songwriters: Gill, Vince;

I know your life on earth was troubled
And only you could know the pain
You weren’t afraid to face the Devil
You were no stranger to the rain

Go rest high on that mountain
Son your work on earth is done
Go to Heaven a shoutin’
Love for the Father and the Son

Oh, how we cried the day you left us
We gathered round your grave to grieve
Wish I could see the angels’ faces

When they hear your sweet voice sing

As far as my progress, I enjoyed a 3mile morning walk.

Jogging, Bowling and Swimming

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Started the morning with another sunrise jog.  Did the first mile of 60 second jog/60 second walk in 11:52.  I then walked another 2 miles.

Wanting to have a fun-filled summer day; my mom, my grandma, my best friend, my princess,the princess’ friend and I headed to the bowling alley.  We had a great time bowling two games, singing to radio Disney, dancing and eating french fries.

After bowling we grabbed a bite to eat at Pizza Hut.  Then spent the rest of the afternoon at the pool pretending to be mermaids and diving for jewels.

What a wonderful day! Can’t wait for summer school to be over so I can spend every day like this.

Family Fun

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Wanting to continue to push forward, I welcomed the morning with a jog at the park.  Much happier with my time of 11:47 for the first mile.  I didn’t do a second because I knew I would be doing a lot of walking that afternoon at Animal Kingdom.

What a wonderful day!  My parents, my grandma, my princess, my BFF and her prince loaded up and headed to Animal Kingdom.  Yes it was sweltering hot, but what a wonderful family time we had.

The princess, the prince, and my BFF.

My 85-year-old grandma.

I consider it a tremendous blessing that my precious princess has the opportunity to make such fun memories not only with me and my parents but also with my grandma.  it is an opportunity not many get to enjoy.