My day went well but for some reason a funk has come over me. Don’t know if it is tiredness or hormones gearing up for their visit. I didn’t want to jog but knew I must. The funk did hinder me a little as it took me 30:15 to complete my 2 miles.
Emotions are ever-changing and I am ever learning how to manage them. This week I am introducing diamante poems. So here is my attempt to contrast the feelings swimming throughout my being.
Merriment, Laughter, Joy
People, Emotions, Variables, Mental State
Hurts, Cries, Silences
So last night’s birthday celebration end with us at a pub doing karaoke. Where I decided to sing a song by one of my favorite artist, Reba McEntire called – Is There Life out There
She married when she was twenty
She thought she was ready
Now she’s not so sure
She thought she’d done some living
But now she’s just wonderin’
What she’s living for
Now she’s feeling that there’s something more
She’s always lived for tomorrow
She’s never learned how
To live for today
She’s dyin’ to try something foolish
Do something crazy
Or just get away
Something for herself for a change
There’s a place in the sun that she’s never been
Where life is fair and time is a friend
Would she do it the same as she did back then
She looks out the window and wonders again
Is there life out there
So much she hasn’t done
Is there life beyond
Her family and her home
She’s done what she should
Should she do what she dares
She doesn’t want to leave
She’s just wonderin
Is there life out there
Over the pass few weeks, as I have embarked on the journey from my couch to a half marathon, this song has brought such meaningful thoughts to mind and I have belted it to the top of my lungs on days that guilt creeps in because I am out pounding pavement instead of doing one of the million things I have written on my to – do list.
I have found there is life out there and I am working on be okay with having a life out there. Day’s like today make it easier to do that. I went back to the first place I ran when I opened this blog on March 18. I did my intervals of 2 minutes walking and 1 minute jogging to complete the same 1.8 path. The difference was on March 18th it took me 34 minutes to complete and today it only took me 27 minutes. What a thrill! My goal is to go back again May 20th and do 1.8 miles in 25 minutes.
For those of you who know me well…go ahead and sit down before you read this. Yesterday, I changed and jogged/walk a section of Bayshore Blvd. Although it was mid day and the sun was beating down, I loved the feeling. Took me a little longer but did my 2 miles in 30:45 keeping with the same 2 minute walk, 1 minute jog intervals.
The evening was rather eventful as I joined 2 girlfriends to celebrate the one friend’s 40th birthday. As we entered the restaurant, a nice looking young man dressed in a tuxedo appears on my left. It is one of my former students who I taught in 2nd and 3rd grade. He is dressed to attend prom. He gives me a big hug, introduces me to his date, and we catch up on what is happening in his life. Again, before he leaves the restaurant he come to my table to hug and tell me goodnight.
And that is why I do what I do! It is why I stay up late and get up early to do things for my students, it is why I cart home journals, homework and projects to give feedback, it is why I attend their functions, it is why I play freeze tag, it is why I do so many things that I often feel go unnoticed. Because in the end the ones that matter the most do notice, appreciate and remember.
Today was the princess field trip to the zoo. Not having to appear in public until 9:30am, left me the morning to conquer the world. So I went back to the elliptical. I don’t think I like it as much as doing it outdoors but it is convenient for those times I need it. My plan was to use it again when I returned from the zoo, but after walking the entire zoo thought I had sufficient exercise for the day and spent the night unwinding.
Thanks to a wonderful teacher, my daughter has developed a love for writing. In preparation for their zoo field trip, the teacher had them create a poem about the animal they most want to see following a format they learned in school. So to honor her hard work and tremendous writing growth, here is her poem:
Today, I experienced a good loss! I loss not only the 2 pounds that I had gained but also an additional 3lbs. I have a parent workshop to present at tonight for school so there will be no jog/walk, but I did the elliptical this morning and plan to do again when I get home. Although is it counterproductive to drink a margarita as I do it?
In thinking about loss, I thought how it is another of those words that can carry both positive or negative feelings. So to fairly present both sides here are my thoughts about negative loss….
It came as an unexpected surprise!
I didn’t fathom the depth of my need.
At first, I proceeded with great caution,
Soon my fingers latched tightly around it,
I fear my grasp may have been too much.
Before I can comprehend what happened,
I feel it begin to slip through my fingers…
Soon it is gone – a distant memory.
Did I ever really have it?
I wonder, “Can you lose what you never had?”
Staying up late last night to read my new book = tired. Adding the elliptical to yesterday’s activity = sore. Two weeks off crazy testing and scheduling = drained. Add all that up and it equals no jog/walk.
So instead I will share my attempt at poetry:
Courtesy of wikipedia:
The bright twinkling lights invited me in…
The cheerful music beckons to enjoy.
Which horse should I choose? Boy? Girl? Big? Little?
After much thought a selection is made.
Carefully climb up…secure myself in.
Rotating slowly as the music plays.
Enjoyment floods me bringing a hug smile.
The speed increases and the music blares.
Joy replaced with sobs shaking my body.
“STOP!” I scream but my cries go unanswered.
Tonight’s journey was a brand new path…trying to make myself handle change. My time was slower and I don’t know whether to attribute it to the steep incline I faced at the onset of the journey or my activities earlier in the day-a half mile on the elliptical and 20 minutes playing freeze tag with my fourth graders.
But here is my thought on the 33:10 it took me to complete 2.1 miles today…it is better than sitting my bottom on the couch.
Today’s progress: 2 miles of intervals of 2 minutes walking and 1 minute jogging in 28:40.
What a beautiful day to be outdoors!!!!! Although my class didn’t have FCAT testing today the fifth grade students across the hallway had to take their science FCAT. Because of that a class had to be displaced….welcome to three 4th grade classes in two classes with a student teacher there to observe. The students were amazing! So with the pressure of testing easing, I decided to do something we haven’t been able to do, go outside for recess.
Once outside the children quickly broke up into groups to do different things: roll down the hill, throw the football, catch up on the gossip and of course tag. A smile broke across my face and the memories begin to flood my mind as I heard: not it, your it, I got you, and help unfreeze me. Before I knew it, my shoes were slipped off and in my dress I joined the game. The delight from the children as I played made me think of how precious childhood is and my responsibility as both a teacher and mother to let the children be children.
I didn’t write this poem and tried to think of one about childhood playtime as I walked/jogged…but it is still a work in progress. Until mine is done please enjoy and take to heart the words of the following:
LET CHILDREN BE CHILDREN FOR ONCE
Let children be children for once
By letting them play
Where is safe
And by letting them know
That you will protect them always
Because you are their parents
Let children be children for once
By allowing them to show their love for you
Because you are their parents
And please tell your children that you love them
Because that is what they want to hear
What was your favorite playtime activity as a child?
Woke up this morning early like always but with a bit of excitement….today I was going back to training. After following the doctors orders of five days of brace and rest, I felt like a teenager just given the car keys on their way to freedom.
Not having to be back home any time soon, I decided to go for 3 miles today. The first mile on the flat, track of the park(got to have my comfort of familiarity): the next mile and a half through a hilly neighborhood: the final half mile back at the park track. I stuck with my intervals of 2 minutes walking and 1 minute jogging. Total time for the 3 miles was 44:50!
On the trip through the neighborhood, I came upon a sidewalk that was canopied by large trees. The rising sun was peering through the branches and glistening down on these beautiful pieces of shattered blue glass. I don’t know when altogether what these pieces formed, but based on their beauty I am sure their owner was quite upset when it came to such demise. As a went a little further and saw more shattered blue glass glistening, I began to ponder….Is it really such demise? Even in its broken state it has such beauty to offer one who stops and takes the time.
How often to we cast off those who are broken because of time or many other excuses?
Last night the princess spend the night at Grammie and Papa’s house. At bed she requires her princess blanket, woobie, so I made sure to pack it. She has had this blanket since she was a year old. Tonight as I put her to bed, we discovered that woobie did not make it back in he bag.
Tears began to fall and the howls escaped from her mouth. My first thought was…it is a blanket. Here’s another one, go to bed. But after stopping for a minute, I realized it was far more than a blanket….it was a source of comfort and security.
As adults, most of us no longer have a woobie, but we have something or someone who is our comfort and security.
Who or what provides you comfort and security?